Always whole, never broken.

Each one of us can depend on our innate well-being to guide us.

 

I AM life and I am taken care of.

It's not on me to make that happen.

It just is.

 

I’ve always known anxiety.

From a young age worry was my middle name. I was fearful of everything.

My mind would always be filled with "what if" scenarios that kept me awake at night. I chewed my nails and because I had intense separation anxiety (focused on my Mother) I had panic attacks whenever I had to go anywhere without her. If I was to be dropped off I believed no one would come back to get me. If she went out I believed she would never return. There was no basis for this fear as that had never happened.

I dreaded sleep overs at friends' houses. I would inevitably end up calling my Mother to pick me up in the middle of the night every. single. time. Later, overnight school trips were a source of contention. The few I went on were an internal disaster for me until I stopped going altogether. Once I made the excuse that my family couldn't afford it and much to my horror the whole school took up a collection to send me! All this inner turmoil led to an upset stomach from overthinking and worrying whenever I had to do anything new. It followed me wherever I went. To school, college and into my jobs.

When I got married I cried with home-sickness for two weeks and postponed any type of honeymoon. When we finally did go on our honeymoon I threw up on the way to the airport. Flying was also a big source of anxiety that I avoided at all cost. I learned ways to tolerate these experiences as MY normal and thought I just had to live with it. Mostly by pulling back from doing anything new.

Years later health concerns brought intense anxiety. I had gall bladder disease and stones that caused illness and rapid weight loss and even though I was sick, I did not have classic symptoms of gall bladder trouble and it remained undiagnosed for 6 months. My doctor said it was "all in my head" and stopped taking my calls. I switched doctors three times. My thoughts about my health spun out of control. I knew there was a problem, this was not MY regular anxiety symptoms. This may have been the first time that I could hear my inner WISDOM.

(A side-note here, my thoughts about feeling unwell were making me suffer more than the illness itself).

Finally after I was diagnosed, and after surgery, I let time pass and I healed both the scar and the trauma but both were still visible on my body and mind. Life went on in its "normal" state as before....

A few years later another health issue would bring the acute anxiety back full force. My newest doctor again told me that it was "all in my head" and I should go on anxiety medication. Again I listened to the little voice that said NO! (louder this time) and finally found a serious vitamin deficiency to be the cause of my illness. This time though, the anxiety did not level out. The mistrust I had for my own body held it intensely in place for over 2 years. A state of de-personalization was my new unwelcome normal.

During this time I was constantly searching for a cure for this state of anxiety. Trying different techniques, essential oils, teas, I even wasted money on an "Anxiety bracelet" that looked pretty but burned my skin when I added the oil to the beads. Luckily Facebook could read my mind at the time and it started showing me ads for "Ways to Control Anxiety". There amongst all the junk, like a hidden treasure, I stumbled upon The Three Principals. I decided to give one more thing a chance and I joined the conversation.

I heard something that I had never heard before, but made so much sense.

It was my THOUGHTS that were causing the way I felt. Not my circumstances, not anything coming in from the outside. The fears I had were a made up story. Made up by a well-meaning brain that was just trying to protect me. I was well and healthy and always would be but I had THINKING that told me otherwise.

“Stay in the conversation” was all I needed to do. No tools, no tactics, no steps to take. Health and well being were there for the taking and always had been. I had just been unaware of it.

I started to "see" for the first time.

 

Gradually I noticed changes happening. I became calmer, I had more empathy for others. Worrying dropped away and my thoughts became less urgent, fading smaller and smaller and finally fell silent. No more planning and worrying about the future and much more taking life as it comes. No more insomnia, even now as I go through menopause. No more being afraid of what “might” happen and much more “let’s see what happens”.

 

The next right thing is for me to share what I have found with as many people as I can reach. This led me to certify as a Change Coach through Dr. Amy Johnson and the Little School of Big Change. This 6-month program was a wonderful experience and deepened my understanding so that I now feel ready and qualified to help others discover their own inner well being.

 

There is hope.

You are health.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and it is being made harder than it has to be. Wake up, we have been unintentionally misusing the precious gift of thought. There is another direction in which to look, let's see what we uncover together.

 

 

My coaching is based on The Three Principles Understanding originated by Sydney Banks. The Principles are a way to explain and better understand how our experience of life is created. It points to what is true for everyone, no exceptions. Life gets simpler when we know how it works.